


Switching Sides

by ThatHCWriter



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Development, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Catholic Guilt, Pre-Canon, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25544980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatHCWriter/pseuds/ThatHCWriter
Summary: Slowly, but surely, Thomas started to realize he wasn’t exactly straight. And for every side of him: it changed everything.Or a look at how the sides coped with, and changed because of, character Thomas coming out, and figuring out who he is.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Kudos: 18





	Switching Sides

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn’t seen anyone explore this part of the sides’ backstory, so I wanted to take a shot. 
> 
> Warning: This fic touches on internalized homophobia, and is all about coming out. Nothing graphic or super intense, but stay safe y’all!

It hit Virgil before it hit anyone else. What Thomas was thinking wasn’t normal, wasn’t healthy. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this about other boys, and even though the other sides didn’t seem to pay it any mind, Virgil couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe that’s why he tried to ignore the thoughts for so long, just chalking it up as his own para... hypervigilance and moving on, but the more time that went by the more it became clear. There was something wrong with Thomas. 

That’s how he presented it to Patton when he decided to open up about it, figuring he’d be the most understanding, and maybe do something other than laugh him off or call him foolish. Patton’s first response was concern, not only for the safety of their beloved host, but also for the likely fact that Thomas had been hiding something from him, and if Virgil was any indication, it was something big. 

So when Virgil told Patton about Thomas’ thoughts, he had no idea how to respond. He wanted to stick up for Thomas, to comfort and protect the horribly anxious side standing in front of him, but he was frozen. All his life, Thomas had learned a certain set of morals, which Patton treasured and Thomas lived by, but this? This didn’t make any sense. These thoughts weren’t right, and according to his own code, make Thomas a bad person. No, that wasn’t it, it couldn’t be. Thomas was selfless, giving, and tirelessly kind, and that made someone a good person, right? Maybe Thomas was a good person, maybe Patton had it all wrong. He had a lot of thinking to do.

Ironically, Logan seemed to be the one doing the least amount of thinking about all of this. Thomas was showing attraction to those of the same sex. He was gay, and that was that. His family was also rather open-minded, so there wasn’t likely to be any trouble there. That was all that needed to be said, on to the next problem. 

None of the other sides had seen the King for quite some time. At around the same time Virgil started noticing Thomas’ thoughts, he retired to his room, where he remained for several days. The truth was, he wasn’t feeling well, at all. He was feeling floaty, like he wasn’t truly in his room, but rather a mindless corpse, shuffling around aimlessly. Not to mention he had an awful, splitting headache that wouldn’t seem to die down. Patton had sent the troubling thoughts to him, filing them under the ‘bad part of creativity.’ Every day it felt like that part of him was getting stronger, pulling away by the moment. 

One morning, he woke up feeling worse than ever, scarcely able to get out of bed, pain splitting him in two. His vision suddenly went black, his mind blanking before he stood again, only to find himself to have company. The side standing across from him was lanky, with a poorly groomed mustache, a gaudy white streak in his hair, and wearing an insultingly loud black and green getup. He looked down at his own hands, turning to a mirror and gasping. He was beautiful. He was valiant and brave and perfect like all of the princes Thomas loved so much. His new name was Roman, he thought, and he wasn’t in pain anymore. 

As quickly as he was formed, Remus was cast out. He was forced to the back of the mind, the dark side of Thomas’ being. He didn’t mind, he relished in the macabre and strange, and if having his own body meant he didn’t have to pretend not to know all he knew, and feel how he felt, he didn’t mind. Soon after he arrived, a voice sounded from the darkness, smooth and venomously sweet. 

“I’ve been waiting so very long to have company. It is wonderful to finally meet you, Remus,” Deceit hissed, laughing to himself. When he finished showing Remus around, he excused himself politely, slowly making his way to another room’s door. “I’ll be back soon, I have another visit I have to make,” he hummed, pressing on the door slightly. 

The second he heard his door open, Virgil jumped backwards. “What do you want,” he snapped, keeping his eyes fixed on the serpentine side. 

“I don’t mean any harm.” Virgil cut him off with a snicker. “I’m perfectly serious. I just want to talk.” Not letting his guard down, Virgil let him speak, not seeing the point in trying to talk him out of it. “So your goal is to protect Thomas, correct?” Virgil reluctantly nodded. “So let me ask you something. Do you really think it’s safe for Thomas to make any indication that he’s gay?” Virgil froze. 

”What?”

“I mean, Patton probably filled your head with assurances that everyone will love us for who we are but how is he so sure? If he’s wrong, well, Thomas might have nothing. He could lose his family, his friends, everything that keeps him safe and happy,” Deceit leaned in closer, hissing the next phrase with intent, “As much as Patton hates to admit it, the only way to protect Thomas, the only way for you to do your job, is to lie.” 

Virgils eyes widened in horror. He staggered backwards, drawing a barely concealed smirk from the other side. He hated the idea, he hated it so much but Deceit was right. There was no way to be sure Thomas was safe to come out with that information. That begged one question though, “What do you need from me?” Deceit smirked 

“Join me. Sometimes what’s best for Thomas can’t be achieved by asking nicely.” Virgil paused, sucked in a deep breath and reluctantly shook his hand, moving to Deceits side for one reason, and one only. To protect Thomas 

Thomas had very recently learned how to have a conversation with his sides when he asked them about coming out. It started as simply as it could, Thomas simply, and boldly stating, “Guys, I’m gay.” There was a long moment of silence, no one quite knowing what to say. 

“We know, we’re you, Thomas,” Logan flatlined. Thomas smirked, tension easing slightly. From across the room, Patton cleared his throat and stood. 

“Kiddo, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, asking a lot of questions. I realized something I want you to hear: You care so much about others, you’ve got such a good heart if I do say so myself, and that’s what makes you a good person. It doesn’t matter who you love, it matters that you love, and kiddo, you couldn’t be better at doing that.” Thomas was tearing up now, nodding fiercely. “And remember kiddo, we’re always gonna be by your ‘side!’ Get it. Because we..” 

Thomas snickered wiping his eyes and silently thanking the sides. Virgil came out of the woodwork then, taking a seat next to Patton. “What’s wrong kiddo?” Patton asked amicably, reaching for the back of Virgil’s head. Virgil leaned in slightly, shivering a bit. 

“If this goes badly, it’s on me,” Virgil whispered snidely. Patton shot him a confused glance. “I couldn’t convince him to hide it. I couldn’t get him to play it safe.” Patton hummed, scratching the hairs on the back of Virgil’s neck gently. 

“Oh kiddo, this isn’t anyone’s fault. Even if it does go badly, this is who Thomas is. And we should be okay with that.” 

“I am,” Virgil blurted, “I am okay with that. I’m just.. I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Stunned by the honesty, silence fell over the sides as they waited with baited breath for Thomas to return from the kitchen, where he was having that all important conversation. 

Thomas finally returned after what felt like hours, a tearful smile crossing his face. “They said it’s okay,” he let out a relieved laugh, “I’m gonna be okay.” All of the sides celebrated, toasting a new Thomas as Roman suddenly felt himself shake, eyes rolling back.

“So you have to tell me, who do you have your eye on? Now we can begin the quest to find you the prince of your dreams!” The other laughed loudly, leaving Thomas to nervously catch Virgil’s eye. The anxious side laughed, putting his hands up in mock surrender. 

“I’m not here to mess with you. I just.. I just wanted to say I’m proud of you. All of us are.” Thomas smiled truthfully, content rushing over him as he relaxed, knowing he was one step closer to harmony with himself, and all of his sides.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was a lot! Feel free to yell at me/give me your thoughts down below! I’m very curious to get your input.


End file.
